So as a mother I have to make sure my children have clothes, food, are healthy and clean, and well educated by the resources available. As a mother I have a duty to love my kids no matter what they do to tick me off, or how they won't listen to me about chores or when to quiet down, or when they fight with each other or anyone else or themselves. I have that duty to LOVE my kids unconditionally and forever!
With other family members it's not so much a big deal - brothers, sisters, cousins... parents are a given because without them I would be here... but the others... not so much really. If they don't care for my lifestyle (being bisexual or having more kids than they think i should) or who i am with.
At least that is how my husband sees it right now - because my sister in law asked me to lunch, as a precaution I said we should take the kids even though it was ideal or part of the idea as a way to make jay not so pissy about me going to lunch... But apparently I am not supposed to go either because my sister in law didn't include him on the invite (she doesn't like him thus shouldn't have to in my opinion).. So because of this Jay got into a fit over how I shouldn't even entertain my sister in law because she doesn't want to include him. Yet if any of his family didn't include me I'd be OK with it, I wouldn't want my kids to NOT know their family no matter what they thought of me or their father, specially if any of those family members genuinely care for my children.
And I don't mean giving us money to care for them or babysitting them or actually taking care of them. not because they got gifts for birthdays or christmas either - I understand it isn't feasible for some people to do that and I don't expect it from ANY family member ever!... But just because they do not like me does not make me take my kids away from that experience of knowing who is there for them.
On side note: I can have friends, but Jay has to meet them and a friend is (in his words) there to talk with and share stuff with BUT it cannot include hard relationship stuff or problems that I would genuinely care about helping said friend with because That is NOT what a friend does to other friends...
Friend by Definition ---
1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personalregard.
2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:friends of the Boston Symphony.
3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is nothostile:Who goes there? Friend or foe?
So if you can't share the life problems you are going through with a "friend" you aren't a friend at all to that person because You should not do so at all anyways??? I'm not sure of this logic.
Maybe it is my time to just let things terminate as is... I am just not sure exactly how to do it without making it a huge batte.
With other family members it's not so much a big deal - brothers, sisters, cousins... parents are a given because without them I would be here... but the others... not so much really. If they don't care for my lifestyle (being bisexual or having more kids than they think i should) or who i am with.
At least that is how my husband sees it right now - because my sister in law asked me to lunch, as a precaution I said we should take the kids even though it was ideal or part of the idea as a way to make jay not so pissy about me going to lunch... But apparently I am not supposed to go either because my sister in law didn't include him on the invite (she doesn't like him thus shouldn't have to in my opinion).. So because of this Jay got into a fit over how I shouldn't even entertain my sister in law because she doesn't want to include him. Yet if any of his family didn't include me I'd be OK with it, I wouldn't want my kids to NOT know their family no matter what they thought of me or their father, specially if any of those family members genuinely care for my children.
And I don't mean giving us money to care for them or babysitting them or actually taking care of them. not because they got gifts for birthdays or christmas either - I understand it isn't feasible for some people to do that and I don't expect it from ANY family member ever!... But just because they do not like me does not make me take my kids away from that experience of knowing who is there for them.
On side note: I can have friends, but Jay has to meet them and a friend is (in his words) there to talk with and share stuff with BUT it cannot include hard relationship stuff or problems that I would genuinely care about helping said friend with because That is NOT what a friend does to other friends...
Friend by Definition ---
1.a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personalregard.
2.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:friends of the Boston Symphony.
3.a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is nothostile:Who goes there? Friend or foe?
So if you can't share the life problems you are going through with a "friend" you aren't a friend at all to that person because You should not do so at all anyways??? I'm not sure of this logic.
Maybe it is my time to just let things terminate as is... I am just not sure exactly how to do it without making it a huge batte.